Midot Hayom: Day 16: Gevurah in Tiferet
“Acquire a friend for yourself.” How should one do this? Acquire a study partner who will eat with you, drink with you, learn Scripture with you, learn Mishna with you, share your room, and reveal the secrets of the Torah and refined social behavior to you. When two study partners learn Torah together and one errs in a Halacha, his study partner will set him right. Avot of Rabbi Nathan 8:3
We understand that Tiferet demands that we constantly strive to maintain a sense of balance in the world and our lives. We need someone to help us maintain that balance: someone who will question our choices and push us to grow and maintain clarity. The study partner, or friend, can help us grow without losing a sense of direction. Our spouse, described by the Torah as a “help mate who challenges”, can be the ultimate partner described in the above Mishna.
Do we have someone in our lives who challenges us and questions our decisions and choices?
Do we nurture our relationships, especially our marriage, to be a source of growth? Are we willing to listen to the judgments of our partners in learning and life? Are we willing to share our decisions with others and be vulnerable to their questions?