How Small Is Sinai

“How small Sinai appears when Moses stands upon it (Augustine of Hippo, Confessions).”

 

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‘Why do you lurk, you lofty mountains, for the mountain that God desired for His dwelling?” (Tehillim 68:17) 

R’ Yosi haGalili and R’ Akiva: 

R’ Yosi haGalili explained the verse as referring to the mountains. 

At the moment when the Holy One came to give the Torah on Sinai the mountains came running and arguing with each other. This one said ‘the Torah will be given on me!’ and this one said ‘the Torah will be given on me!’ 

Mount Tabor came from Bet Elim and Mount Carmel from Espamia, this is what is written “As long as I live, says the King, Whose name is the Lord of Hosts, that as sure as Tabor is among the mountains, and Carmel is by the sea, it shall come about.” (Yimiyahu 46:18) 

This one said ‘I was called!’ and this one said ‘I was called!’ 

The Holy One said ‘Why do you lurk, you lofty mountains?’ You are all high mountains, but what does lofty (gavnunim) mean? As it says “…or one with long eyebrows (gibein), or a cataract…” (Vayikra 21:20) Idolatry was done on all of you, 

but Sinai upon which idolatry was never done “…the mountain that God desired for His dwelling,” (Tehillim 68:17) “The Lord descended upon Mount Sinai…” (Shemot 19:20) 

[Bereishit Rabbah 99:1]’

 

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Why a mountain?

“And that is why Moses was chosen to be the one through whom G‑d gave the Torah. Moses was chosen not because he was the smartest, or the brightest, or the best teacher, or the best communicator. Moses was chosen because he was “exceedingly humble, more so than any person on the face of the earth.”1 The greatness of Moses lay in his humility, his ability to put his perspective aside and view reality from G‑d’s perspective.

And yet, being Sinai-small is not enough. One must also be a mountain.

The Torah was given on a mountain and not in a valley, for to live the Torah, we must be humble on the one hand, but proud on the other.

Absolute humility is dangerous.

To live the Torah, we must be fully aware of our immense worth in the eyes of G‑d (Rabbi Menachem Feldman, chabad.org).”

 

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I sat on Shabbat with the Midrash above for hours.

I walked this morning thinking about Rabbi Feldman’s beautiful idea.

Yet, I picture the scene at Sinai and return to Augustine. 

“How small Sinai appears when Moses stands upon it.”

I have to.

I realize that over the last 12 months I “had” too view the “humility” of Sinai only in juxtaposition to the potential of the human being who can “stand on Sinai, view the world from Sinai’s perspective, and climb down the mountain and carry Sinai into the world;

I “had” to, for there would not have been any way for me to survive the tumult of the past year without full awareness our potential surpasses the limitations of place.

Did climbing Sinai elevate Moshe or did Moshe climbing elevate Sinai?

 

“How small Sinai appears when Moses stands upon it.”

 

I reread the Midrash and I find the choice of the mountain to be one that did not displace Moshe as the meeting point between Heaven and Earth.

 

I reread the Midrash and I find Rabbi Feldman’s reminder that we must “be fully aware of our worth in God’s eye’s,” for it was in God’s eyes that Sinai was dwarfed by Moshe’s presence.

“How small Sinai appears when Moses stands upon it.”

 

I reread the Midrash and understand that we stood at Revelation and understood,

“How small Sinai appears when Moses stands upon it,”

And, that we saw ourselves in his reflection.