Eshet Chayil: The Seeker
“She seeks wool and flax, and works willingly with her hands.”
Unless we want to believe that only a woman who spins wool and winds flax is considered a Woman of Valor, this verse must be describing an idea, not something specific.
Many people dream of what they could do and accomplish, but they wait for everything they need before they begin to live their dreams. They usually end up living their entire lives as “Waiters,” waiting for the right opportunity or chance. The Woman of Valor doesn’t wait; she is a seeker, “See “Life Nurterer”) not a waiter. She goes out to get what she needs. “She willingly works with her hands to get what she needs.”
A real relationship (See “A Real Marriage”) demands that the wife and her husband never sit around and wait for the right moment to work on their relationship. They must both constantly work to get all they need to nurture the marriage. A real relationship is a constant seeking for a deeper connection, more discovery, and mastery of life.
Abraham reflected on his long marriage to Sarah and realized that she was constantly seeking more for him. It was her idea to give Hagar to him. It was she who willingly cooperated and went to Pharaoh and Abimelech so that he could have more. (See “The Benefits of Trust”) Sarah is never described as spinning wool, but as spinning life to it’s fullest and most beautiful.
The wife and husband who share a life of seeking and rolling up their sleeves to put in the hard work necessary for an infinite marriage, will experience the blessing of the Eshet Chayil.